reaching

Last night I fell asleep laying in bed with the T.V. on. I never do that. But Naki always did. So it was the strangest experience last night when I awoke, heard the T.V. lightly in the background and saw the room lit up from it, and did what I always did. I rolled over and reached for him. I haven't done that ever. I've always known he was gone and somehow just knew even in my sleep that he wasn't beside me. I can't seem to find the words to explain how that felt last night, but it was a quick awakening when my hand rested on empty and cold sheets instead of his always warm and massive arm, leg, or chest. It didn't exactly make me sad so to speak, but just surprised me that I had the ability to still do what I'd always done after not doing it for over a year. I guess some habits are hard to break.

Yearning..

I want to hug, snuggle, punch, kiss, confide in, eat with, laugh at, dance with, pray with, rest with, play with, work with, giggle with, and much much more with this man. Oh, time can't go fast enough till I can do all of those things.

I. Miss. Him.

Cold Snow and Hot Chocolate

Okay. So in reality it was actually slushy snow and lukewarm chocolate...the snow because that's what we had to play in the day it worked into the schedule and the drink because none of them can stand actual "hot" chocolate. They were so stinkin' adorable, and I'm glad I remembered to take pics, now that my photographer moved out. (We miss you!)



Look carefully at this next picture. At first glance it seems to be a snapshot of someone making a snow angel. But it's actually a moment captured in time of Malia throwing a snowball right on Line's face as she made the snow angel.


Eli made this one...

See the snowball coming my way? I must say I was such a great sport. Playing in the snow is NOT my thing, and I know I've mentioned before that I was always the one inside making the hot chocolate while Daddy was the one playing and yucking it up out in the snow. So you should all know that double duty looks pretty interesting, at least from my point of view. One second outside, the next running inside. I wish I'd thought to count exactly how many times I ran up and down the stairs, grabbing various items they requested and making various drinks and such. It was worth it though, seeing their cute selves frolicking and squealing, with the occasional shouting at each other when they didn't like the snowballs being thrown at them, even though they all did their own fair share of the throwing.

Malia was determined to get me good...let's just say I'm glad her aim was off that day.


She fell to the ground in anguish at her inability to hit me in the face.

Reloading...



Eli thought she'd get a better angle on her snowball attacks.

Charlie sat at the screen the entire time, wishing she was right in the middle of things.

Because I kept going in and out, Boo was confused as to why I wouldn't allow her to come in and out as well. This was her way of letting me know she wanted to be done.

That is, until I gave her a sippy cup filled with her apple juice, which I swear runs through her veins. Who plays in the snow with a sippy cup? She was thrilled to have it though, and it made my life easier for a moment.

Malia orchestrated the snowman building, of course. And it's no surprise who she made the snowman into. I loved it, and the other girls got right on in with the action. Lose DOES have gloves, if you see her little red hands, it's that she just keeps not putting them away when she's asked to, and so couldn't find them at this exact moment. If you look closely you can see the snowball that Malia put in Naki the snowman's hand...






This next series of pics I know look all alike, but I put them all in this post because if you look closely, Eva and Eli's facial expressions change from one to the next, and it made me laugh looking at it. When I asked Malia to lay down in the front, Ane collapsed over like she'd been shot or something and we couldn't convince her whatsoever that only Malia needed to lay down for the picture since she was in the front. Thus, the reason she's laying flat on her back in all of these pictures.







Hope you all get to play in the snow and have some lukewarm chocolate and create fun memories too.

December Babies

In addition to all the crazy fun that December brings due to the holidays, we are lucky enough to add a bit more craziness with two December babies, Anamalia and Evaloni. I know it's so cliche to say that it's shocking when you realize how quickly time flies by us all, but to Naki and I it really does feel like just yesterday when these babes were born and we met them for the first time. Being a parent is our greatest blessing hands down and it's always such a joy to celebrate the years since they were born. Here are pics from various days when we celebrated their birthdays, from special breakfasts, decorating their own cakes and cupcakes, and birthday parties. We love you girls immensely, and pray you feel that everyday. Happy Birthday girls!

2011

No one is more surprised than I am to see happy faces on these munchkins after what has been the most difficult year of our lives. 2010 brings mixed memories and emotions for me, and it is a complete miracle that after all of it I am starting to see true glimpses of happiness on their faces. Here's to hoping that 2011 is manageable, that it brings us closer to who we want and need to be, and that we will be able to say with complete honesty that we made every effort to honor the God who gave us life and gave us each other. Happy New Year everyone.