61...

61 days...the amount of days since Naki's died as of today. 61 days since the girls found out they will have to live the rest of their earthly days without him around to enjoy it with. 61 days now that I've been wearing my new glasses...you know, the ones that if you don't have on, or don't have the cause to wear, you live an unaffected life. A life in which you still have troubles and difficulties, but don't realize how good you really have it because you have nothing else to compare it to. My new glasses discolor all experiences I started having 61 days ago...they aren't what I expected AT ALL, but they also bring eternity as a goal into clear focus. 61 days since I've been kissed by my Baby. 61 days since the girlies have had a hug or a reprimand by their Dad. 61 long days of tedious details about things like: life living wills, getting all our ducks in a row for receiving Social Security, trying to figure out what health and life insurance to have now, going to church as a widow, etc. 61 days that included Halloween, nieces' and nephews' birthdays, BYU football games, dentist appointments where I cried in the chair with my mouth hanging open, Thanksgiving, Malia's birthday, Malia's baptism, Eva's birthday, Ane's 15 month checkup, Tithing Settlement, the church annual Primary Program, Christmas caroling, Family Home Evenings, others' wedding anniversaries, the ward Christmas Party, and more that I'm sure I'm forgetting. 61 days of home rennovations that he would have loved to be around for. 61 days of crying...never knew a body could make that many tears. 61 days of being surrounded by God's earthly angels..everyone should have the good fortune to feel what that is like. I never knew people could be so kind, generous, and selfless.

Point is, we've made it 61 days. Here's to hoping we can make it the rest of the time, babe. We just can't wait to be reunited with our own BigNox #61.