Benefit Concert

I felt disbelief that October 16th was almost here. Time feels so strange...it can move so slowly and yet can simultaneously feel as if it has gone by quickly. I know that there is much about life yet to be enjoyed, and have a sense of amazement that I can even admit that now, but at the same time I loved knowing that a year had happened quicker than I could have hoped for. I love the idea of being old and almost done with mortality. Finding myself on the eve of the worst day of my life felt surreal.

I had been thinking and thinking for quite some time about how to mark this day for the girls in a way that was appropriate emotionally for them. I didn't want it to be a day of remembered sorrow necessarily, but I wanted to honor Naki by remembering it. It's obviously not a day worthy of celebrating, and yet it would be wrong to not do something significant on that day. Hmmm...I thought and thought and thought. Truth be told, if I didn't have any children I would have skipped the day entirely...slept through it, stayed in my pajamas, watched tv in bed, eaten all the worst foods ever, and would have hidden in my bedroom until it was over. So when Junior and Mona told me what they wanted to do for us, I was overwhelmed with gratitude and yet disappointed at not being able to hide, which if I was being honest with myself I know it would never have happened anyway. It turned out to be one of those experiences where God knew what I needed, and also knew that I wasn't going to figure that out on my own. This benefit concert was p.e.r.f.e.c.t. I was so shocked to realize that Junior and Mona had been inspired with the answers to the questions that I had been asking for over two months. They knew the exact
way that we were supposed to mark this day. Although it was extremely difficult for me to be surrounded by people that knew me but I didn't know them, (you know me and my social issues), it was way more extremely overwhelming to see everyone's love and generosity, in a good way. The girls were thrilled to see so many people that they love all in one place all at the same time. The best part of the whole night for me was getting to watch the girls be happy on a day that I didn't think happiness could exist. They were laughing, giggling, dancing, jumping up and down, eating delicious goodies that our sweet fam spent hours and hours baking, hugging and loving on friends and family, running around playing games, and just having the best time. I don't have the words to thank all the people that made this night so special. I'm just so amazed at how beautiful the weather was, how perfect the location was, how smoothly it was organized, and how enjoyable all the performances were. I'm sure that I'm leaving someone or something out of this thank you, but in doing so please know that I am astonished at the entire evening and all that went into making it an evening that my girls still talk about with smiles and happy memories, exactly as it should be.

I didn't bring my camera that evening, but Ginny remembered hers. So these are pictures from her camera that she somehow managed to take in the midst of juggling Ane. Thanks Gin.