I Miss My Optimist

Can someone please give me tips, tricks, tools, anything, to help me quiet the pessimist in my head that never ever stops giving me it's two cents? I've battled that my entire life, feeling naturally pessimistic, and since Naki's death and consequently losing my eternal optimist, it's ridiculous the way I have to fight against that part of myself. This week I'm not doing such a hot job at filtering through all the negative to try and find just a bit of positive. Usually I'm able to see my thoughts for what they are...a mortal weakness that only impairs my one-step-forward-two-steps-back progress towards what used to be my eternal goals. I was able to look past my here-and-now focus and balance the negative with the positive thoughts of life after this one. I am surprised to see how the issues that I'm struggling with spiritually are making it impossible to do that at all. When I don't have that strong confidence and trust in God nothing seems worthwhile anymore. I wish that I could figure out all the answers that I'm seeking already, so that I can get balanced again. The silly thing of it all is that I've already gone through these thoughts before. But just like all of the other emotions that I spiral through with grief, these keep coming back around, reminding me that I am still unsatisfied with the results from the last time around. I would love to hear if anyone else has ever found themselves in my shoes, and how you were able to get past it.