As we were riding the Trax, it quickly became clear to me by the girls somewhat audible gasps and averted glances that my kids are extremely sheltered living here in Utah County...Orem, Ut., otherwise known as "Family City, USA". They are so unaccustomed to seeing anyone who doesn't have a clean cut haircut, or seeing anyone who may sport an occassional earring in what appears to them to be a place where earrings don't belong. It provided good opportunity to teach them that outward appearance is not always a reflection of one's inner appearance. Here's the group waiting to ride up to the Planetarium...Aria's hidden a bit behind Lose's elbow, but she's there. And the following shot is Line and Kyra. I told Kyra's parents the other day that I think it's quite the tribute to these girls that I have never heard a single fight between the two of them. Don't assume that's because they are exactly alike and agree on everything. Although that's partially true, the fact that they never argue tells me about how much they love each other. They compromise constantly, and figure out how to see things from each other's point of view. Such sweeties.
I love love love this picture of Line and I. I regret that I'm not in more pictures with the girls...quite the conflicting struggle with me, since I don't really enjoy the way most of the pictures I'm in turn out. I know the importance of them being able to look at pictures of themselves with their Dad. It was frustrating as I was looking through our pictures that as they got older I didn't have as many pictures of them with Naki or I. So, I consider myself quite the martyr for purposefully placing myself in front of the camera. Not my favorite place to be. But on this occassion I loved the end result. Isn't Line just so beautiful?
These monkeys are such a whirlwind of giggles, arguments, tight squeeze hugs, sharing, fighting, and loving when they're together. I love Eva's smile. It makes me warm inside.
Every little girl should be so lucky to have such a fun and loving Uncle as their Uncle Rex. He tries so hard to help each girl be a good listener to me yet at the same time letting them know that he loves them. He would do anything for my girlies, and they know it.
I posted this picture to show the owies on Eva's face. All of the girls feel such a loss of control, understandably, in their lives as a result of their Dad dying so suddenly. They each have chosen different ways to exert control in their lives, and let me tell you, none of them are pleasant or easy in any way. One of the ways Eva chose immediately after Naki died was by picking at her skin. She had a little cut on her hand that had started to scab over and decided that in her moments of stress and anxiety that she would pick at that owie to relieve those overwhelming feelings. Soon, I discovered a new one on her sweet face, and tried to not be sad about it. Too soon after finding the first one on her face, another one appeared on the same cheek and it was too much for me. It was so so difficult. Almost every time I would tell her something to do, or somewhere to go, or if it was time to eat, time to go to bed, pretty much any direction I gave her, she would feel the need to place herself in opposition to it. Seriously, it really was almost EVERY time. The ability to compromise with her had completely disappeared. She also felt the need to show control in her life by acting irrationally, just because she wanted to and could. I had to pick my battles very carefully and choose which things were the most important to focus on. She wanted to let go of my hand and run across a busy parking lot. She wanted to run through the front door if it was open and run away. She wanted to not be potty trained anymore. She wanted to tell complete strangers that she didn't like them, and still does. She wanted to oppose me when it was time for baths, meals, bedtimes, potty times, etc etc. I knew that on the times when I would have to contradict what she wanted that she would choose to deal with that contradiction and loss of control over her own choices by picking at her scabs and digging in her skin to make new ones. It has been awful. It feels horrible to know that by trying to keep her safe it forces her to harm herself. It is especially frustrating when they've started to just be a scar and she reopens them... Bandaids are our new best friends! If she has one covering her owies it sometimes keeps her from picking at herself. I was surprised to see her sweet little face in this picture, as I hadn't seen this picture since I took it back in December. I am SO happy to report that she has officially let the sores on her face completely scar over. She is still working on the one on her hand, but we are making HUGE progress.
We enjoyed dinner after the planetarium, and finished it off with some scrumptious Rocky Mountain Apples...which if you've never had, you need to have soon. Mmmm. You can see Lose, unwilling to smile at me in this picture because she's just too busy eating her slice of caramel apple, covered in M&Ms, I believe.
I sure love my little Eva. It is so comforting to look at her sweet face and see Naki staring back at me a bit. She is talking SO much, and saying such fun things. She speaks with such animation, and today I couldn't stop watching her talk while I was driving. I kept checking my rear view mirror to see what hand gestures she would use next. When she really gets going her tongue keeps making these cute lizard-like appearances out the side of her mouth. Kinda hard to explain, but super adorable. She still takes excellent naps, and is having mixed feelings about Ane being able to say her name. It was cute the first couple of times, but I think it's getting a bit old now that she's had it yelled at her nonstop since yesterday when Ane figured out how to say it. I can hardly restrain myself from sticking my face in the crook of her neck. I just love her scent! Naki would always say, after he was regrettably shoved away from snuggling in her neck, that she smelled so yummy and salty. Don't know it that's good or not, but we just can't get enough of it. Just can't get enough of her.
