Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Shaving

I have so very much to say and to write. But I am in the last two weeks of my first semester back in school, and am seriously so close to insanity. I have planned to write during my three weeks off between semesters. But until then, I have to write here that last night I taught my two eldest to shave their legs. Craziness! When they start to be embarrassed to have their lower legs show during their dance class, that's when you know it's time to let them shave. They were pros, and were so cute about it. I wish I had recorded it, but I don't usually remember to do that. I seriously need a full time photographer and home video recorder just to help me catch all those moments. Either that or I need two more sets of hands plus an additional brain or two. :) My favorite part was when they couldn't stop rubbing their own legs and saying how smooooooth they felt. I love these moments, where they aren't so little anymore and we can communicate in a different way than when they were little. But I also resent them because it means that the time is approaching when they will all have grown and I will be truly alone. What will I do with myself then? *sigh* Oh well. It makes me so sad, that I just can't think about it. When I start going there and freaking out about it I start to have those irrational thoughts that maybe I'll get some terminal illness and die so that I won't have to live alone...then the guilt starts to set in because as much as I want to be with Naki I do NOT want to leave these girlies parentless. I want to help them and be with them for as long as I possibly can. So, ultimately what I try and do is trust in the Lord that he will continue to show me what I'm supposed to be doing day to day with my life. If I give my life to Him, then the odds are greater that I won't feel as alone as I would if I didn't.