These pictures were taken this summer. What is it about rainbows? Just witnessing something so otherworldy that happens so briefly with just the right combination of ingredients makes me feel touched by heaven. I felt that way before Naki died, and I truly feel it now. I think they make me feel like in a world surrounded by difficult and ugly things and circumstances, seeing something beautiful at the hand of God is a reminder of all that He is capable of.
The pictures of the horses are a fun story.
Since the beginning of the year I have had the strongest impression that I need to get the girlies lives entwined with horses. Naki and I talked about that sooo very much, but our finances always prevented it from happening. Right before he died he was developing a work relationship with a stable, and had been talking with them about letting us and our girls clean the stables there in lieu of riding lessons for the girlies. Secretly I am frightened by their size and their power, and mostly by the fact that I don't know anything about being around them. But one thing I do know about them is that whenever I am in their presence I feel the same way I do around rainbows. There is something so magnificent about being in the same space as something so powerful, intelligent, and special that isn't human. I am drawn to them. I went through a kooky period this summer where I daydreamed about living in Kentucky. No lie. I can't explain it, but I even went so far as to learn about housing and all other kinds of aspects of living in Kentucky. I could never do it, move there, because there isn't any family there, and there isn't any reason to be there other than I was daydreaming about owning this huge piece of land with fences and horses. Silly dream. I realized after traveling to Ohio this summer that I don't have to go far to have horses and land. I could have it here once I finish school and be smart with my money...someday it could become a reality. Even if that means for our grandkids! But Naki and I both loved the idea of having horses. We used to drive through Lindon and look at homes and their properties that were zoned for horses and just dream. But for now, we feel lucky to have met a sweet man, the owner of the tire shop we go to actually, that told me I could drive the girls out to where he keeps his horses anytime to go pet them and to say hi with some apples. He also told me that I can hop the fence any time and go into the field with them, but I am too scared! One Sunday we cut up quite a few apples and had the best time. I love being in their presence. Eva just lights up whenever she's around them, all the girls do, and they talk about it constantly. Maybe someday I'll get up the courage to go past the fence.
