Gratitude

I don't have much time to write. I have been experiencing this overwhelming feeling of gratitude for several days, and wanted to write it here for record keeping. I'm sure there will come a time when I will need to read what I've written to help me in my moments of despondency. I am most grateful these days for the people that God has blessed me to have in my life, not as a replacement for the way I miss my Baby, and not necessarily as a compensation, but truly as a sign of Love towards me and our girlies. I am grateful for the ladies and their families who have brought our family dinner once a week since Naki died, and are STILL doing it. I am grateful to the neighbor across the street who since I've started school has noticed that I no longer have time to do that which I love, take care of my yard, and so has come over unasked to mow the lawn for me, repeatedly. I am grateful for the neighbors that since Naki has died continue to set out our garbage cans each week on garbage day. I am grateful for the friends and family who volunteer to rotate turns babysitting my two littles every week so that last year I could work and this year I can attend school full time. I am thankful for a sister who dedicated many hours to researching scholarships for me to apply for, which I did, and received all three of them, for which I am also grateful for. I am grateful for our friends who come over once a month to play with the girlies so I can leave for one night of the month, which I have used for temple night, laundrymat nights, and most recently study-at-the-library nights. I am grateful for a friend who for several years has allowed us to trade cleaning services for dance tuition so the girls can do that which they so love. I am thankful for friends who have brought me cds of songs that they felt inspired to share with me for uplifting. I am grateful for friends and family that randomly text me to tell me that they love me and the girls and are cheering for us. I am grateful for a neighbor who remembers every one of the girlies' birthdays and brings over their favorite treats and a new book for them. I am grateful for my brother-in-law's father, who calls the girls and sings to them on each one of their birthdays. I am blessed to have the best home teacher ever, who loves each of us completely and comes over, dropping whatever he's doing, to help when asked. I'm grateful for worthy priesthood holders who gave our girls their school blessings this year. I am in awe of family who is once again coordinating and producing the second annual benefit concert this October in honor of Naki's life. I am grateful for all of my family, near and far, for their many prayers and thoughts in our behalf. I am blessed to have family who tries to financially help us while I am in school. I am thankful for any and all of the individuals who for the past two Christmases have charitably and anonymously made it possible for the girls to have Christmas. I am grateful to a sister who in the past contributed cleaning services for my household when I didn't have the energy to do anything, least of all cleaning. I am blessed to have had family willing to alter their lives to live with us just to help us. I am positive that I have missed many many people that I have gratitude for. Those are just a few of the instances that have blessed our lives since Naki's death. It is overwhelming to feel such love. I know that even though at times I feel so alone without Naki with me daily, the girlies and I are truly, truly, not alone. We love you all and are so immensely blessed by each and every one of you. Ultimately God is there for us, even if we can't feel it at times. Is there any way I could deny that knowledge, when I take a minute to see all that He has given me?