Changes 2

I know I've written before about my previous epiphany regarding the understanding that God gives us friendships as blessings. I count my friendships as very personal and intimate blessings given by a loving Father in Heaven to help compensate for the best friendship I've ever ever had, but that is currently suspended, waiting to be continued as soon as my responsibilities in mortality are completed. I was taught as a child to "be careful who your friends are"! Pure friendships are relationships that exist because both parties truly wish for the other's happiness over their own. They trust each other implicitly. The love that should exist in an honest and real friendship mirrors the love that our Savior has for us all, charity. I have been surprised to discover that I actually have friendships like this! I say surprised, because I still struggle to believe that I can be worthy of such love from others. Last week some of my friends asked if they could please have some time with the girls so that I could have some time on my own. All of us Maile girls truly needed that time for ourselves in our own way. If you would like to see pics of the girls enjoying their special night while I enjoyed mine, you can read about it here. They were treated to a special night of nummy food and special makeovers. I came back home to girls, all dolled up and feeling glam. It was so sweet to see them feeling loved and valued, learning without even knowing it what true friendship feels like. Line especially loved having her hair straightened, and REALLY wanted to start learning how to do her hair by herself. When I say REALLY, it doesn't quite cover the amount of emotion she used to express her desire.

Let me clarify...she's done her own hair for quite some time..uses product, does her own hairstyles. What I mean when I say doing her hair by herself is using a blow dryer, round brush, flat iron, etc. all by herself. She has such an enormous amount of hair that she is easily frustrated with the challenge that it presents every time she tries to do something with it.

Now. I have known this day was coming, and have personally dreaded it. Again, it would've been nice when I was wanting to have children so badly if it could've been brought to my attention that I'd need to have beautician training. Seriously. HELP! I can barely make my own hair presentable, let alone needing to be the person that needs to teach others how to make their's presentable, too. But after our friends left that night, I promised her that since there was no school on Monday we could just work on it with my undivided attention...and that is a coveted thing around here.

She was so so so stoked! I had to take pictures of the process, which if anyone wants to know, took approximately a total of 3 hours. We're both hoping that she can cut that time down considerably as she practices...which she is doing as we speak. I was so proud of her, that even when she got frustrated she didn't cry and she didn't quit. I guess that's what happens when you really want something badly. Here are some pics I snapped of the process.








Here she is with the finished product. She was immensely proud of herself, and even though I had initially dreaded this, it was yet another change that I actually ended up enjoying. I love watching these girls of ours learning and growing. It is the most rewarding process for us as parents to know that despite our faults and inadequacies, our children can still feel our sincerest love for them. It is the purest friendship I have, and hope to have forever...the friendship of my children.



We of course had to go out and buy her her very own blowdryer and flat iron, and she is using them for the first time today. Such fun.

And...uhh...not sure how this stinker got in on the fun...

Changes

I've been reading a book called Mindful Eating, and it has so much incredible insight, not only into eating, but into how to live your life in the present. It is based on Buddha's Four Foundations of Mindfulness, and so far it is pretty fascinating. There is statement after statement that I just want to digest, and somehow make a part of my permanent way of thinking. I think it's one of those things that I'll have to read and reread in order to make it a part of myself. Here is one of the quotes that I read last night while waiting at the girls' dance classes.

"The secret for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, not to worry about the future, and not to anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly."

We're trying to do that around here, although I must say for me that is not an easy thing to do. Not just since Naki died, but really, that's just not my personality. I do look back at the past, I always worry about the future, and constantly live in anticipation of my future difficulties, but honestly do try to enjoy living whatever my present is, whether that's when I was a missionary, newlywed, new mother, etc., despite my tendencies to look backwards and forwards with trepidation.

Having said all that, I've really been trying to see the present with a clear perspective. I've tried to embrace changes, good and bad, as part of my present experience, so that my mind and body will be able to live wisely and earnestly. The next several posts are all about changes happening around here in our house, some good and one not so good. Truthfully I've enjoyed almost all of the changes, even if initially I was unsure about them.

All of the girls, after they moved out of the crib, have moved into this bed. Even Ane attempted to sleep in this bed, if only for one night, only to have been moved right back into her crib. It is a daybed, and we've used it, and used it, and used it some more. The amazing detail of this bed is that it was MY bed when I was a little girl. I remember when my mom ordered it and it arrived at our house, and I have TONS of great memories attached to it with all of my siblings. We've been nursing it along, trying to help it not fall apart, for over a year now. It had a telltale squeak that would give away any child's slightest move while laying in it.


Well, our dearest friends have moved away, and as they were consolidating their things, asked me if I would like to purchase the bed they had been using for their girlies for the steal of all centuries. I leapt on the offer, and broke out my tools to dismantle the old beloved daybed.


We decided to set up the bed under the window because it looks so perfect, but I'll admit I'm extrememly nervous about when that window could be opened and littles are leaning against the screen. I'm currently looking into some window childlock ideas for when winter is over and that window will be start to be opened more regularly.

Eva was super excited to sleep on it her first night.


Then, when Ane saw the bed the next morning and saw that there was a bed on the bottom, she made the decision that she was ready to sleep in a bed and move permanently from her crib. I didn't think it would actually work, and that I would end up putting her back into her crib in the middle of the night. But I am happy to report that I am wrong! I believe completely that since I started working more hours, and my littles have been taking naps at their sitters' homes, in a BED instead of a crib, that she was primed and ready to do it. You have to see what a big deal this is for me. ALL of my past experiences of moving babies out of their cribs and into beds has been a several month long process, one brought on because a new baby needed the bed that the toddler was sleeping in. Even last time, when I tried to move Ane into a bed over Christmas break, was an unpleasant experience. I truly believe that this smooth transition is a gift from my Father in Heaven. This is a snapshot that I took of the girlies this morning when I woke them up.

It seems so weird to not have someone sleeping in the room right next to me. The new bed is a sweet gift from even sweeter friends, and it's a perfect change. But Ane not being a baby sleeping in a baby's bed, that is definitely one of the changes that I didn't want. But it's so fun to see her having fun and feeling like she's one of the big girls.

I found these pictures on my computer, and realized I hadn't shared these priceless treasures. Addie was over one day, my sister Katie's oldest daughter, and the girls decided to try out all of Line's Spy Gear she received as her Christmas present this year. Of course, you can't be a spy without dressing for the occasion. Because the girls' dance classes require black clothes, they had plenty of black to arm themselves with. Good thing I didn't let out the secret that I have black face paint. Who knows what would've come of that!

100th Day of Kindergarten!

Every school project we work on feels like such a triumph for me...even before Naki died. I feel like it's one of those things that somehow snuck by my notice when I decided I wanted to be a parent. Is it really necessary to have to also be in elementary school again? 6 times over? I dread all the school assignments the girlies come home with. But THESE ones, we really love doing. The kindergartners and 1st graders were assigned to make a poster for the 100th day of school with 100 of any item they wanted. Recently we'd resurrected an old gumball machine that either Line or Malia had received what seems like an eternity ago. It hadn't had gumballs in it forever, and when we finally bought the gumballs to put in it, when we loaded up the machine wouldn't you know the top part had cracked right down the middle and they all exploded and went everywhere. Oh joy. So, after a bit of superglue surgery, we've all been chomping on brightly colored gumballs around here. It seemed the perfect fit for Eli's poster idea. Here she is, the day she brought it into school.

Happy Birthdy Miss Eli-Bell! Naki and I just CAN NOT believe that this little munchkin, this girl who has challenged, taught, and loved us from day 1, has turned 6years old. She got to have her birthday donut before school and before the rest of the crazy busy day unfolded.

We were excited to get the day to have and enjoy Eli for ourselves, and decided to save her birthday party until later. Since she turned 4 Eli's known that she could get her ears pierced like her older sisters, but her fear outweighed her vanity every time she started considering it. So I was quite surprised when she approached me this year with the news that she had decided to get her ears pierced for her birthday. We'd recently discovered that Lose has a nickel allergy, which would explain the "weeping", or the stud sliding down through the lobe leaving the original piercing location, and burning of the skin where the ear is pierced, which just means that she has to have either super cheap plastic studded earrings or super expensive gold ones. Armed with this new info, Lose and Eli had discussed doing it together which helped Eli feel a bit stronger and braver I think, and it sounded like a good plan. So after school, and then after therapy, we headed out for an ear piercing adventure.

These pictures crack me up every single time I look at them. Since I was flying solo, trying to fill out forms, reassure a girlie that was freaking out a bit, pick out which studs to use, etc etc, I could not let Eva and Ane run loose in jewelry store, for heaven's sake. So I made them sit down, and someone was NOT happy about it. Really, really, not happy.


Lose went first, now quite the seasoned pro at this, it being her 4th time. I'm quite a bit embarrassed even admitting that I didn't figure out what was going on with her before now. Check out her pics...the girls and I laugh every time we look at them.




Now, for Eli's pics. You may think by looking at this first picture that she had just had them pierced from the look on her face. But actually, this is before she even sat in the chair.


Finally, she got in the chair and gathered her sisters all around her. One on each hand, and I think one on a leg or a foot or something. Combine that with me standing there with the camera, the two littles sitting right beside us on the floor, and it's hard to figure out how two employees also fit back into that little corner to do the actual piercing.


If you've never witnessed any of our little Eli's extreme moods, here's a small sample. Seconds earlier she'd been crying, and then this was the next pic I captured.




Here she is seconds after being brave while everyone was looking...

and then this is her seconds after when everyone turned away...

and then finally a couple of minutes later after she realized that she wasn't going to die after all.

Living with our Eli means there is never a dull moment, and that you just never know what emotion of hers you'll be experiencing from one minute to the next. And we love it!!! I'll admit, as a babe that quality of hers stressed the crap out of me. But it has become one of the things we love most about our Lesieli. Happy Birthday Eli!

Hymn 124

I have the worst memory. Ever. I hate that part of my brain that swears it's going to remember something, and then when I try and recall it, it has disappeared for good. So I started trying to make lists for myself in my phone of things I need to remember. One such list is a list of spiritual promptings I receive. I know that God speaks to me, and I hear Him, often. The problem is that after I've heard him, I then go on with my day, and when the end of the day rolls around all that He has said to me I have forgotten. How in the world am I supposed to grow and discover what He's trying to teach me if I never can remember what it was He said? The list has really helped me more than I thought it would. Now...if I can just remember to check it periodically!

One Sunday I was playing the piano in Relief Society, Hymn 124, Be Still My Soul. I remember while playing it that the words were especially calming to my soul that was at the time in upheaval, as it is again now. After I finished playing I wrote, "Read Hymn 124" on my list. Only now, tonight, did I sit down and read the words. They brought such peace to my mind, heart, and spirit, and I only wish I'd read them earlier. I think I may try and memorize them.

1. Be still, my soul: The Lord is on thy side;
With patience bear thy cross of grief or pain.
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In ev'ry change he faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: Thy best, thy heav'nly Friend
Thru thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

2. Be still, my soul: Thy God doth undertake
To guide the future as he has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul: The waves and winds still know
His voice who ruled them while he dwelt below.

3. Be still, my soul: The hour is hast'ning on
When we shall be forever with the Lord,
When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love's purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul: When change and tears are past,
All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.

Despite my bitterness, resentment, fear, anger, dread, exhaustion, confusion, guilt, etc etc, I have to believe what this song teaches. Better yet, I have to believe what God's Spirit speaks to my heart when I read the words. I need to memorize it so that in my difficult moments, I can recite it to myself and balance out my negative thoughts with these sweet and calming positive ones.

What does it mean if you wake every morning dreading that day? And then it happens again the next day, and the next day, and the next, and the next?