My dad is convinced that I will do just fine, but I still feel unsettled. When Naki and I started having our precious babies, we struck a deal...and a fine one too. We agreed that I would take responsibility for the kids from 0 - 12, and he would take over after that. Sounded really good to me...shoulda known that it was too good to be true. I am much more comfortable parenting the young'ns rather than the teenagers. And he is just so dang good and smart about what they think and feel, that it was an easy decision on our part. Well, now, obviously, that just isn't going to work anymore. I'm just a tad ticked about that. I put in a lot of years on my end of the deal, and am not thrilled to realize that the rest is in my court as well, only because I am convinced that Naki would do a better job with teenagers than I would.
Well, he's not here and technically we don't have any teenagers yet. But still, I am having a bit of anxiety about making my first major parental decision without him. It involves Line, and it's scaring me. Will I make a choice that will benefit her and not place her in a position to be harmed? I really never liked the pressure that comes with this parenting thing. And Naki being gone is only making it worse. Can't they just grow up, turn out wonderful inside and out, and I can breathe a sigh of relief that I'm done with this rough and nail-biting time? Eeoohh Boy...
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You still have Naki helping (although it was rude of him to leave just when his turn was coming up!) You'll make the right choice because you are such a great mom- that hasn't changed!
ReplyDeleteYour dad is right. You will do great.
ReplyDeleteI remember hearing about this deal quite often. I cant even imagine how hard it's going to be raising teenagers without Naki. Like I truly believe though, you are a better 1 parent then most 2 parents are. I wish I could be more like you especially where parenting, faith and courage comes in. You can do anything, even things you don't like or want to. Love you Abs!
ReplyDeleteYou are a wonderful mother and you're definitely in tune with the Spirit. Listen to you heart and you will know what to do.
ReplyDeleteI hear ya, Abby...parenting is tough stuff. I loved all the baby and toddler years, but as my firstborn approaches his teen years I am filled with apprehension (though I can honestly say in many ways they are even more fun as they get older!). I just want my sweet boy to turn into a sweet young man without all the potential growing pains. Prayer and lots of love. That's about all I know how to do. I'll be praying for you, too!
ReplyDeleteLOL Oh Abby, if you girls turn out anything like you and your sisters you will have nothing to worry about. LOL... Just remember all the gray hair that mother has was given to her by..... well it was not me!!!! LOL. You have nothing to worry about Naki is there guiding you and the girls... Its makes me Happy to know he is on our side fighting for us!!!!
ReplyDeleteYou'll make the right choice, with your Father in Heavens help and Naki's!!He might not be here in body, but he is in spirit and I know they don't get out of any "deal" that easy! You are an amazing person!!!! I admire you so! My thoughts and prayers are with you! -Marci Akagi
ReplyDeleteAs someone that knows your girlies well, I would have to say you have nothing to worry about. They are the nicest, most polite, sweetest little angels. I just love them all. I have heard that once they get to be teenagers that all bets are off but I know that you and Naki have raised them so well so far and that they have great examples to follow. Naki is definitely not one to back away from a promise to you and he will be helping you along the way. Those girls are going to be amazing throughout their lives because of you. You will do wonderfully Abby!
ReplyDeleteI have always dreaded the teenage years, but I can honestly say that every stage my children have gone through has had its ups and downs. And I'm really enjoying the teenage years! My teenagers are my friends--we talk about deep topics, we rely on each other in hard times, we text each other when we are bored, and they give me many more hugs now than they ever did when they were young. Obviously, we all have our rough patches, but we are here for each other. I never thought it possible, but I love my teenagers!
ReplyDeleteTracy
Hey Abby, I read this post last night and didn't leave a comment... but all night and all morning, I just kept thinking how it makes me want to hit the wall and stomp my feet and yell "It's not fair!! It's not fair!!"
ReplyDeletethat may not be what you want or need to hear right now, but that's just what i felt and wanted you to know... luv you guys
Abby- I believe the unconditional love, concern, and overall active role you play in those girls lives is creating and has created wonderful little people! You really are an incredible mother. Don't be too hard on yourself. As others have related, Naki is right there with you. You are so strong! Your faith in the Lord is so strong- the Lord's and Naki's faith in you is so strong- don't forget to have faith yourself too. :)
ReplyDeleteAbby- I don't know if you remember me or not. I'm Kaitlyn Moss--my parents are Todd and Dawn Moss..you and Connie used to come over to our house in Rexburg when my sister and I were little. We just wanted to pass on our condolences to you and your family. We are sorry for your loss and you have been in our thoughts and prayers.
ReplyDeleteAbby,
ReplyDeleteYou are amazing. Your posts are so moving and meaningful. Our daughter is nine--I think close to the same age as your oldest. I, too, wish the age of dress up and make believe would stick around a little longer. I'm not ready for those big decisions yet.
I'm sending love your way and thinking of you often.
Laurie (Vogt) Boob
Dad is totally right i remember how hard it was to raise me when i was a teenager i was a force to be reckoned with but now i am a full grown man and feel better right now and i just did initiatory on saturday and all of them were europe!! Love, Tim\ Uncle tim
ReplyDeleteSo here's the deal...you have one job, really, to get all of those girlies to the finish line...and it's really quite simple...all activities, habits, choices, housekeeping, and challenges are to be decided with one goal in mind...can each wee-one hear the still small voice of influence of the Holy Ghost and of their father...in a house of order which is a house of God, if they hear the quiet witness of The Comforter and the tenderness of their loving father...they will truly follow in the footsteps of their queenly mother! Love, mom/gma
ReplyDeleteAbby, I love you! My mom and I had a similar conversation. We ARE going to make mistakes with our kids, it's inevitable. We're mortal. We can't see the way Father in Heaven sees. Our knowledge will frequently outweight our abilities. HOWEVER . . . Heavenly Father knew that when he sent our children to us. And they are his children . . . spirit children of God who must grow and struggle through mortality to earn exaltation, too. When we are trying our best--and you are--God will take our mistakes with our kids and turn them to experiences that will help them grow closer him. This is the power of the Atonement--and I really have a testimony of this. God will take whatever horrible or hard or sad thing happens to us, and turn it so that instead of destroying us, it will make us more like him. And that includes mistakes we make with our kids. He is with you and your family, and always will be.
ReplyDelete