Monday, January 25, 2010
Sleep, please, just sleep!
There has got to be a better sleep solution. I can get the girls to all go to sleep in their own beds, but am fighting a losing battle around midnight. Two of the girls continue to wake around that time and wander into our bed... Eva every night, and Eli sometimes. It's really not a problem, unless they both decide to come in on the same night. Then they spend the entire time pushing and shoving each other, and arguing with each other. I cannot sleep in these circumstances. Let me repeat that, although what good it will do I don't know, since they are my non-readers and will not read this anytime soon! But I repeat...I cannot sleep in these circumstances! It leaves me cranky and without the small amount of energy that I would typically have, which is barely enough to function as it is. I have tried putting them back in their beds, but that ends in hours of crying and drama that ends up waking the rest of the house. I know this is a common occurance in many homes, but don't want it to be one in mine any more! On a good night's sleep for me all I want to do in the morning is stay in my jammies and lay on the couch. And now that's REALLY all I want to do today. Not gonna work, girls. It's just not gonna work. Hmmmm.
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We had this same problem. It was solved when I made a "little" bed on the floor every night by my bed. The two little ones can get in this bed, but not in our bed!
ReplyDeleteMy brother had a child that woke up around the same time every night, so they tried to prevent it by waking the child up a while before the "scheduled" time to try and break the sleep cycle. They would get him up to take him to the bathroom or give him a drink or something, and while he was still groggy, put him back to sleep right away. They said it worked for them, but I don't have any personal experience with my own kids.
ReplyDelete"All of us face challenges in our daily lives. Yet in challenges lie some of our greatest opportunities. As we recognize and act on our opportunities, progress, happiness, and spiritual growth follows. We need to be involved in moving the Lord's work forward. The opportunities available to us are endless."
ReplyDelete--H David Burton, "A season of opportunity", November 1998 Ensign pg. 9
After Caleb died, Brendan would not sleep in his bed. We were having a hard enough time trying to sleep, and then to have him in bed was not working. So, he got his own "bed" on the floor next to ours. I had to hold his hand until he fell asleep, but he slept. He was told he could come in our room and sleep, but he was not allowed in the bed, he had to sleep in the new little bed on the floor. We did this for over six months. He gradually got to the point where I could move him back to his bed and he would stay the whole night. It is so exhausting, I am sorry Abby. I remember just wanting to spend most of my day in bed, yet I couldn't sleep, but was so, so exhausted. Mentally and physically. I hope something will work for you.
ReplyDeleteI was going to leave this comment anonymously to avoid revealing that I am a crazy blog stalker who thinks I know you personally through reading your blog (although I know that's not really true) and then I saw that all of your comments were anonymous so far which made me think how silly it is to not want to say who I am when I'm just offering a suggestion and blah blah blah. So anyway, Hi! I'm McKenna. I read your blog. I love your family. We pray for you often. And we've never met. I am Erin and Isaac Herring's cousin.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, not that I've properly introduced myself, I thought I'd share a suggestion. I have recently had the same problem with my children, ages 5 and 2 1/2. I don't know how old your two culprits are, but this worked with mine. I made a sticker chart. Just a sheet of paper with their name, in their favorite color, and a table on it, 30 squares. And a cheap pack of smiley face stickers. The kids each picked out a toy from the store. I had them look at pictures online to decide on what they wanted because if we actually bought the item first I knew that no matter where I hid it they would probably hunt it down, open it, and ruin my plan. So we had an idea of what toy they would pick in the end. Then each night that they successfully stayed in their own bed they got a sticker. If they didn't, then no sticker. Easy as that. I constantly reminded them that the more nights they stayed in their beds the quicker they would get their toy. It took about a week or so before they were being more consistent. But eventually things clicked and they were doing it! And I was sleeping!! It really was heaven. They finally got their toys and immediately came back into my bed that night. But I had a new weapon! That new toy they had worked so hard for! If they slept in their bed, they could play with it. If not, the toy was mine for that day. So far, so good.
If you try it, I hope it works! And if you try something else, I hope that works! There is nothing quite like a good, solid stretch of sleep for a mother. Life is hard enough without some rest. And I'm sure that's ten times as true for you.
So my comment is now longer than your post. I'm going to say goodbye. Maybe I'll comment more often! Who knows! But I enjoy reading your posts. They remind me of what I really need to be focusing on. And they have helped me through my own grief this last month. So thank you for sharing with me. And good luck with those beautiful babies!!
Since the problem for you is not that they come in to your room but the fact that if they come together they fight, I would say put two sleeping bags next to your bed and hopefully one day they will realize that their bed is way more comfortable :)
ReplyDeleteYou know I'm right there with you on the sleeping thing. It is just a challenge that comes with parenting but some of us have a rougher go with it, especially you right now. Plus, once you have multiple kiddos joining in, it's almost near impossible to get a good night's sleep because if it isn't the one with sleeping problems, it's the one with the stuffed nose, or the one with the nightmare, or the one that wants to just cuddle, and then you can always add in that kicking and shoving, etc., etc. I wish I had some wise words to help you, but so far, all of those suggestions above have not worked for me-I've tried most. So instead I will remind you of the Jordan-Maile open door policy. Your kids are always, always, always welcome here so that you can stay in your jammies all day long and actually go back to bed to get that rest you need and deserve. Someday I hope the sleeping kinks are gone but until they are never hesitate to ask because you know we love them here!
ReplyDeletehmmm.. maybe say.. "fine..you two can have my bed..I'll go sleep in one of yours". Shut the door and then go hide in a closet you've secretly set up with pillows and blankets? hahah.. just kidding..that's kind of mean, huh? I think the sticker/toy chart is a good idea. You could also try to give them 15-20 minutes of undivided one-on-one time right before bed..laying in their bed? then leave a lamp on and some soft music? Ohhh.. I don't know! kids are sometimes so stubborn and at 2 am it's easier to just give in. I feel for you. I'm sleeping with my 8 year old b/c I can't afford to get her her own bed just yet. Can't bring myself to have her sleep on the floor either. gahhhh!! MOTHERS! God bless us. ;)
ReplyDeleteI have two suggestions for you, though I have no way of knowing if either will work in your situation.
ReplyDelete1. Danielle continually got in our bed when she was in that stage of potty trained during the day, but wearing pull-ups at night. She would wake up when she peed and then not want to get back in her own bed alone. So I would put her to bed and then when I went to bed (I'm not sure how much later you are up than them, but this is when I do homework so I'm up for a while)....what was a saying? oh, when I went to bed later I would wake her just enough to take her to the potty and put her back in bed and then she was fine. I have a sneaky suspesion that the root cause of your night stalkers is more than just a trip to the potty, but I thought I would mention it.
2. Don't judge me - I'm really not a bad mother...I swear - well, at least most of the time. But sometimes you just have to pull out the Benadryl. Now I say this with caution, because children usually either conk out or go hyper with a single dose. I'm lucky to have the kind that conk out. So when I'm in desparate need to a good nights sleep they ALL get Benadryl. Seriously, you don't want the olders waking up on the nights that you finally got the little ones to sleep! And as an addedd bonus their mosquito bites don't bother then while their drifting off to la-la land. (But seeing as you guys are covered in snow you probably don't have a problem with the itchy bites before bed right now - but here, it's a never ending battle.)
Whoa, this turned out WAY longer that I thought I would write. And since my grammer sense seems to be temporarily out of order lately I hope it all made sense.
Keep up the effort - it's hard, it sucks, but I know it will be worth it eventually. Know that I'm rooting for you as I know all of us who know you and your babies are.
Lisa
So here's what I was thinkin'...since rest is critical right now for you...and they seem to need a trip upstairs in the middle of the night...after they arrive...you move to your beautiful new couch and snuggle in until morning...hmmmm... Love, mom/gma
ReplyDelete