Fibbing...

I'm embarrassed to admit this, but I fibbed to my mom last night...something I haven't done in I don't know how long! I figured by telling all it would be traumatic enough and somewhat therapeutic so that I won't ever do it again. It's been horrible. I found myself blurting said fibb out over the phone to her because I was ashamed of the truth, and without thinking whatsoever, found myself in a horrible place. Anyone who knows my mother knows that there is no reason to lie to her. . . she's the most understanding and compassionate person I know. Then, after finding myself in that spot, didn't quite know how to get myself out of it. I felt actually physically sick all night and didn't sleep very well. I woke up and just knew that somehow I had to make this right. Not really hard to do, actually, but just even all that more embarrassing and shameful than admitting the truth in the first place would have been. You'd think that at 32 I wouldn't have found myself in this spot. But I have to say, it's been a great lesson for me in practicing what I preach to the girlies every day. I called her on her way to Denver and blurted out the truth to her, only to have her tell me that she already knew. Duh. . . I am a mother, afterall. A new mother, but a mother none-the-less. We usually know when our kids are lying to us, right?

I'm telling you all this so that you can learn from my painful experience...don't lie to your moms! I'm also telling this to you to pose the question "Why do we do things we know we shouldn't do?". I'm sure that we've all found ourselves in a place where we didn't want to be because of a poor choice we made. You feel absolutely terrible, you wish you could make the choice over again and do it right the second time around. I'm publicly apologizing to you, Mom. I'm so sorry and I love you.