I've been wanting to complete the process of going private, but first needed to make a few comments. Several of you requested an invitation but did not leave an email! That makes it tricky for me. Also, I am running into an issue. When writing with a private status I am only allowed 100 followers and will reach that before I can complete all the invites. I don't know what to do about that! I hate that I have to go private, and will write about that once I have made the complete transition. I just don't want anyone to feel like I chose to not invite you when actually I would love for any person who genuinely cares for the well being of my little family to be able to follow us. Hmmm...not sure exactly what to do about that yet.

I am excited to be blogging again. I have found myself several times over the past several weeks starting to write in my head, which hasn't happened for a while. It's time. Sadly, when I've finally sat down to write, all those marvelous half-written posts have escaped me. So I am going to start jotting down the ideas that come to me while I am out...something I used to do.

I have had one thought cycling around in my head for some time, and wanted to throw it out there to hear back any of your thoughts or ideas on it. What do you think about pipe dreams and how the Lord feels about them? Something you really truly want to happen in your life, but the reality of it seems so improbable that you write it off as impossible. I have been thinking of this because I too, have a pipe dream. I'm keeping it quiet and not sharing, at least not right now. I think I hesitate to share it because I worry how it will be perceived. It is too precious to me and I don't want other's opinions about it to taint it's sacredness. I know why I value it, and that's enough. I don't need others to value it.

But here is my question. How do you approach the Lord in your prayers about your pipe dreams? Ultimately I try and pray for the ability to accept what the Lord has in store for my life and that whatever that may be, that I will learn to enjoy it and find happiness with it. I think the reason I do that is obvious, having experienced first hand a life altering experience that is not enjoyable or happy, although I am just beginning to see glimpses of a life that doesn't have to be forever a disappointment. :) I remember praying when the medical staff was working on Naki, and even then I knew that I should pray not that he would live, but rather that the Lord's will would be made known to me and that I would be able to live through it. I've heard some say that the Lord wants to bless you but is waiting for you to ask specifically for those blessings. I worry about asking for my specific dreams to be made a reality because what if I ask enough times and He finally lets me experience it, even though ultimately it isn't the best thing for me and the girls. I crave spiritual and emotional peace throughout all of this, and am so thrilled to admit that lately I feel it more than I thought I ever could at this point of my journey.

I would love to hear what you think about this, whether through a comment or a private email. Such a large part of my spiritual growth these last two years has come largely through listening to what others think and feel, and so I value anything you would like to share.